


Look who's talking

by PinkFluffyBabboonButt



Category: Death Note
Genre: Children, Domestic Fluff, Halloween, M/M, New Year, au where all the Wammy boys except L are alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkFluffyBabboonButt/pseuds/PinkFluffyBabboonButt
Summary: *02/01/2017 third chapter is up!*I saw this cute MattXMello fanart where Mello's trying to feed chocolate to three kids and Matt's standing behind him with a pregnancy kit while one kid is clinging to him.Matt says, "Aw man, baby, I'm pregnant again, and.... dude, stop feeding them chocolate."To which Mello answers, "You know what? I'm tired, Matt. I'm tired."The scene was too hilarious and this fic sort of happened. However I changed the mpreg into Matt and Mello being huge saps and not being able to leave orphaned children behind.*Unbeta-d*





	1. Chapter 1

Matt shivered as the droplets of water slid down his back. His striped shirt wasn't really much of use to him but luckily it had long sleeves. Besides his vest wouldn't have protected him much anyway. Not as much as it was protecting her. With a sigh of relief he maneuvered the vest in his hands so he could use one of his hands to open the door.

"I'm home!" He shouted and headed straight towards the living room where he knew Mello would be waiting for him, even though the ex-Mafia boss wouldn't say so.

Upon entering the living room Matt saw the most hilarious sight ever. Mello was sitting on the floor trying to calm the children who were literally climbing up and down him or running in circles around him. And Mello being the stupid he was when it came to children was offering them chocolate at ten o'clock at night. Matt let out a chuckle. Of course the children were going to get wild if Mello kept feeding them chocolate like that. But he had to admit that the scene in front of him was very sweet. Very domestic and lovely.

Apparently in their chocolate daze none of them had noticed Matt coming home or shouting on top of his lungs so he proceeded from the doorway to stand right behind Mello.

"Aw man," he cooed to his adorable boyfriend, "Baby I brought one again and," He said sitting down with the bundle he had made with his vest and took the chocolate bar away from Mello's hands, "dude, stop feeding them chocolate." Matt had leaned in to kiss Mello but the blond pushed him away with a tug to his waist.

"You know what?" Mello finally said, sounding extremely irritated, "I'm tired, Matt. I'm tired."

The poor man didn't even shout, or growl like he usually would. He truly looked tired. However, there was no other option for them. After defeating Kira and somehow surviving the bullet and the truck incident Matt and Mello had taken a break from work only helping when Near really needed them. Well, Mello mostly. But this time Near needed Matt's skills so for the first time Mello had had to take care of the children. The idea had been funny but now seeing his exhausted boyfriend made him feel a little guilty.

Matt got up leaving the bundle on the floor and left the little child with Mello. He got changed and helped the children to get to bed. He wanted Mello to have a break and get to know the baby. Most of all he hoped that Mello would keep the child. Last time they had been this close to just take their son back to the trash can where Matt had found him.

Once he'd made sure all four of their older children had fallen asleep or were at least tucked tight in their beds with the gaming devices hidden (as if they could hide those from Matt) somewhere in their rooms, he made his way back to the living room. He thought he'd see Mello still sitting with the bundle still on the floor. Instead he found the room void of Mello only the baby, now clad in pretty pink tutu (Mello's style of sense could sometimes be over the top), sleeping securely tucked between two cushions on the couch. A plate of steak with potatoes and salad had been left on the table. Knowing not to annoy his boyfriend Matt carefully sat down next to the baby and got started with his dinner.

A while later Mello entered the room covered in sweat and dust. Pointedly he stomped to Matt who had already put his plate down to endure his boyfriend's tantrum.

"Take her and come with me." Was all Mello said before turning on his heels.

"Mell, babe, I'm tired. Can't you take her?" Matt tried to test Mello's mood although he was feeling tired as well.

Mello turned back at him scowling at his boyfriend. With a slow wave pointing at his dirty body he turned back again and began to walk to the corridor where all of their children's rooms were. The house wasn't too big but big enough for them to have a descent amount of children. The blond man walked up to one of the previously unused rooms and tugged the door open with a push of his knee. Then he got away from Matt's way letting the red haired man go in with the small baby.

Given Mello's earlier annoyance and exhaustion he'd decorated the room pretty impressively. He'd cleaned up the entire room, turned a box into a tiny bed, put some glow stars around the room, setted up the baby monitor, put up baby friendly curtains and sheets and also found a brand new teddy bear for the baby.

Matt carefully entered the room and placed their daughter on the tiny makeshift bed. After tucking the teddy bear next to her and checking if the baby monitor was working he went back to Mello closing the door behind him.

"Mell, I —"

"Not a word Matt, go to bed I'll join you after a shower."

 

About an hour later the two men were laying in the bed. Matt knew he was out of the danger zone because Mello had shimmied into his arms and the two of them were spooning in the comfortable warmth of their bed. It was strange though. First time Matt had brought a child, their eldest daughter, Mello had panicked and argued a little but he'd let Matt keep the child. Their second child, their first son, had caused a bit more fighting although Mello wasn't panicked by children anymore. The third one, their second son, had been Mello's own idea. He'd worked on a case with Near. When the case was over there was one child left with no place to go. Also he resembled Matt with his red hair and green eyes. So Mello brought him for their sibling starved children. That was also when 'the kids' had become 'our kids'. Their fourth child, their third son, had been the child of one of their men from mafia. The man had gotten himself and his whole family killed. Matt had helped get rid of that issue and afterwards couldn't leave the child after seeing his blond hair that matched Mello's.

Although on the two later instances they didn't talk much, simply set up the rooms for children and began to coexist as if the children had been parts of their lives forever the, the tension still was present. Mello had almost made Matt return their third son but when Matt reminded how hair colour had been the only reason why Mello brought their second son Mello had no other choice but to let Matt keep the child.

It was strange though. Matt had noticed how Mello was slowly getting used to having children around yet still each time a new kid had joined the two men Mello had reacted in a way or another. Sometimes Matt felt like Mello was putting up with the kids only to please Matt. Now his speculations had come to the point where Matt was left with only a few choices. He did love the children but not as much as the spicy blonde so in the end no matter whatever he chose he knew he'll have to give up on the dream of having an actual family.

"Dude, I know you're not happy about the kids but I couldn't just leave her out there." Matt started to defend the child just the way he had done three times in the past.

"I know," Mello said and shimmied closer against Matt.

This was getting frustrating. Mello wasn't reacting in any way, in any of the classic ways, and that was scary. Last time he'd been like that before the whole either Kira or them stunt. Which made Matt feel like once again the skinny man had decided to kill either himself or Matt or the children. None of the ideas seemed pleasing. But then again he had gone through the trouble of setting up the room for their second daughter. That must mean something?

There were still a few options but all of them made Matt's eyes sting with tears. All of them similar in a way or another. But he didn't want to give his children away. Mello might have grown up to be detached from everyone due to the competition to be L's successor but Matt never had had that pressure. That's why he'd learnt to love and enjoy people around him unless he was too absorbed by his games.

Still, he had called Roger and a few other people Roger had recommended. He didn't want that to happen to his tiny bundles of joy. But there was no other option. All these years the whole caretaking of children had been pretty much one sided thing for Matt. He'd somehow managed with the four children but now with the fifth child and the case still looming over Matt's head things were going to get hard. Besides Near had hinted that Matt's help might be needed in the future. Basically it meant that he'll have to hasta la vista to all his game playing and childcaring days and start to sharpen his hacking skills again.

Taking a deep breath Matt closed his eyes, he didn't want to see the hopeful glint in Mello's eyes after telling him about the last option. "I talked to Roger today. He said if need be he can take the youngest ones into Wammy but we'll have to put the older two into some other orphanage."

There it was. He'd said it. Now all he needed was Mello's approval. It was going to hit him harder than the recent dealing with five children and a case but he could do it. He'd taken a shower of bullets for Mello so he could do this as well. He kept his eyes closed not only to avoid Mello's joy but also the tears that had pooled into his eyes.

Suddenly he felt all the air rapidly leave his lungs and a pounding sting on his stomach. With all the pain he only managed let out a muffled grunt, "Whmmphat?" His eyes still closed but now due to the pain.

"Don't you ever dare to talk to me or my children, you traitor." Mello hissed pinning Matt down by his neck. Mello only looked fragile but the man was dangerous even with only one hand wrapped around Matt's neck. The sudden acrobatic skills were proof enough. Matt hadn't even noticed when his boyfriend had moved to pin him down like that.

All he could do is open his eyes in confusion.

"How dare you contact Wammy? Matt, after all this I thought you'd be the one who'd never disappoint me."

Matt saw the tears pooling into Mello's eyes as the blond man kept his grip tight around Matt's neck.

"I thought you wanted to get rid of them. You haven't been involved with the kids and lately seeing you all tired I realized that maybe kids aren't just something meant for us. If you've got a bone to pick with Wammy then we can put them to some other orphanage or foster care. I checked out a few other orphanages and families too." The red head managed to croak under his boyfriend's tight grip.

Next thing Matt knew was the stinging pain on his cheek. Mello had slapped him.

"Mello! What's wrong with you?" Matt grunted in annoyance now. He had no idea what had gotten into Mello. The silent treatment was expected. It happened with each of the children but this was getting ridiculous.

"I'm trying to tell you not to ever think of getting rid of our kids, you moron!" Mello nearly shouted, "How dare you think of Roger or any other orphanage? I might not be as good with the kids are but you should've known better, you should've noticed better. I'm trying Mello. I've just gotten a chance to properly spend time with our kids now that you work with Near. At least let me have this try. Besides for your kind information I love them more than I love you, you jackass!" 

Matt was taken by surprise. Mello loved the children. He actually loved the children. Despite the bruises on his cheek, neck and stomach (Mello could get very rough even when he didn't mean it) Matt couldn't help the relief and the snicker crawling into his face.

"You sap," he croaked again, "I didn't know you had the ability to be such a sap. Although I should've realized it when you brought Mike home," he snickered at his boyfriend who shushed him with a rough kiss that soon morphed into a gentle one as in between the following kisses Mello promised Matt and the children the best he could ever give them.

They were still kissing when the baby monitor rattled. Matt immediately shot up bumping his forehead on Mello's chin. However the muffled cries subsided immediately and only noise coming from the monitor was the steady breathing of their second daughter. Smiling he pulled Mello, who'd been rubbing his chin, back into another round of kisses when another cry came from the monitor startling Matt again.

"Damn, stop it dude. Or you'll end up bruising my face." Mello hissed to Matt.

"Look who's talking. The jerk who left me all black and blue and not with hickies." Matt retorted. He leaned up to pull Mello down for another kiss, "but I still love you. To the moon and back. And just as much as I love the kids. Traitor." He smiled into the kiss.

"Stop being a softie and kiss me. Will you?" Mello smiled too.

"Look who's talking. The closeted sap," Matt snickered and dived in for another kiss before Mello could slap him again.


	2. Chapter 2

Mello narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Matt was stuck at the gaming section again. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he wasn't eighteen anymore. In fact, it seemed like Matt was degrading in age every year. The boy had been so dead serious during the Wammy years despite all the gaming. And when they'd worked on the Kira case when they weren't even twenty. But now when they were in their mid-twenties Matt had decided to do a backflip in his mental age.

Mello squinted harder at the ridiculously cute game I Matt was holding.

"Seriously, Matt?" He scoffed at his boyfriend while the man read through the back of the game he had picked up.

"Aww, man. Don't sound so annoyed. We still need something for the baby, right?" Matt tried to defend the Poyo Pop game he was holding.

"Matt," Mello breathed through his nose, "She can't even stand." He huffed while trying to remember when exactly he'd become more laid back with showing his emotions so vividly. Well. He'd always done it but now with Matt and children he seemed to loose his perfect composure all the time. Which was annoying, specially now that they were trying to shop for the children in a packed grocery store.

Yes, they had even started to visit grocery stores, for things that weren't made of chocolate.

Halloween was right behind the corner and their oldest kid had wanted to dress up for Halloween so of course instead of wrapping her into toilet paper Mello had needed an extra chocolate refill right now. And the four cute costumes (including a proper mummy costume) scattered in the cart were just unexpected extra items the couple had picked up.

Finally, too annoyed to tolerate Matt and the cute looking game he turned on his heels and headed towards the toys section. They sold some princess costumes over there too. Although, Mello doubted if they'd come in the right size. Most probably they'll be too big. He could feel all the parents and grandparents staring at him as he scoured up and down the isles for anything proper. A young man with a half burnt face and clothed in leather wasn't really the kind of a person one would expect to see in the toys' princess section checking through everything. Usually Mello didn't mind the stares but whenever someone stared at him like he was some sort of tragic hero buying toys or clothes for his children, like a random girl was staring at him right there, he lost his cool. On one hand he wanted to turn and make it clear to the girl that she could go stare at someone else and on the other hand he didn't want to ruin her Halloween.

When he didn't find anything proper in the toy section he headed back to the clothes' section. Maybe he had missed some very cute dress. He needed to look through the infants' clothes section again. However, to Mello's annoyance the girl from earlier followed him there. She kept following him everywhere and the most outrageous thing was that she wasn't even trying to hide that she was following him. Mello was just about to turn away from a lovely teddy eared hoodie to reprimand the girl in his own style when he heard a thunk coming from the cart and two strong hands wrapping around him.

"Looks like you've found the perfect costume for our girl." Matt kissed Mello on the cheek.

Mello, however was still staring at the game. Matt couldn't be serious about it. Could he?

"I hate you, Matt." The blonde hissed despite leaning in to the hug while shuffling through the hoodies to find the right size for their daughter.

"Dude, you seriously have lying issues. I know you love me, and the kids too." Matt said with a grin while sliding one of his hands away from Mello's waist to show a middle finger to the girl who still hadn't gotten the cue. Tragic hero or not Mello belonged to him and some stupid teenager girl, who could only see the cuteness of a scarred man looking for kids' clothes and not the very essence of Mello, had still a lot to learn before laying her eyes on the blonde man.

"Stop scaring the girl Matt," Mello said with a knowing smile. How couldn't he know, he'd shared his life with the red head for as long as he remembered and the glass in on front of him reflected everything quite well. "And no. I hate you and the kids too. Coming up with these stupid ideas." He went back to scoffing. "Dad, lets dress up as mummies." He mimicked their oldest daughter in a way only a parent ever could.

Matt couldn't help the roaring laugh he let out at Mello's mimicry. "Look who's talking. The moron who couldn't just wrap the kids in toilet paper but instead set out on a five hour shopping spree to find the right costumes."

This time Mello's attempt to strangle got interrupted when his phone started to buzz. The kids were creating a havoc and Near was nowhere near enough to keep them under control.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one minute late. I was supposed to publish this one 1st of January but got is ready at 0:01 on 2nd of January. Sorry about that. I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Matt had been doing his best to keep the children away from Mello. He could feel the stress piling up on his partner and the kids yapping on about this new whim of theirs that Mello couldn't fulfill wasn't helping him keep Mello calm at all.

"Shut up and finish your food." He reprimanded the two older boys who were busy fighting over something utterly trivial and stupid.

It wasn't even nine thirty yet and Matt was already feeling like Matsuda was late. After he'd heard that Near had to take up a case that very morning and won't be able to take the surprise to the end he'd felt lost for a while. Matt didn't want the children to miss out on all the fun but at the same time he didn't want to see Mello stand there stiff like a stick trying to endure through everything.

Luckily Matsuda himself called Matt when all the stress had gotten to the peak for him. Apparently Matsuda had more brain than what he got credited for. Knowing about the incident at Mello's first base he'd offered to take the kids out that day. He was supposed to take care of some other children too and didn't mind to take all of the kids with him. Matt had denied the offer at first since he and Mello alone had five children. If on top of it Matsuda was going to shepherd some other children then it would be too much even in Matt's opinion. However, Matsuda assured that he was going to get helping hands from other people at the task force.

"Matt, can you actually help me? Instead of spacing out and staring at the clock." Mello huffed in annoyance. In reality it was very hard to drag any kind of emotion out of Mello but today it wasn't particularly hard since there were six people doing it, Matt included.

Matt had asked the children to keep it down and just wait in their rooms for Matt to give them the signal but it was hard. The two younger ones were asleep already meaning their trip with Matsuda was cancelled before they could even get excited. Matt sighed, he was going to have a lot of trouble trying to calm their third son when he'd wake up and realize he'd missed all the fun. The three older on the other hand were so excited they just couldn't sit still for a moment. Braving through the remaining few hours was going to be hard. If only Mello hadn't been so insistent on putting up a brave face. For heaven's sakes they were family. Mello could just say it out loud.

"Yeah, sorry. Just excited about the release of the special edition." Matt lied.

Mello knew about the game Matt had been excited about for the past few weeks and as always he hadn't really bothered to pay attention to his partner's fanatic hobby. So it wasn't hard to lie to Mello. There was no special edition or anything else related to any games. It was damn Matsuda Matt was waiting for.

For the third time Matt heard a silent thud coming from their older daughter's room. The little devil was worse than any of her brothers. Matt should've known better than tell the wild spirit about the little secret. Matt stole a glance at Mello who had dozed off while the screen of his laptop gradually darkened and then went entirely dark, the only light being the blue of the switch indicating that the laptop was still on.

Matt checked the time. 23:15, the red numbers on the digital clock displayed. Right then as if on queue, the screen of his phone flashed displaying Matsuda's name on it. Luckily he'd remembered to set his phone on silent. Matt cut the call and carefully tipstoed out of the bedroom. He went to the rooms of each of their children and quickly dressed them up. He wanted to make them eat something and go to the look before they went as well but Matsuda had promised he'd take care of that with Sayu.

Soon the group of four was standing by the door. The children were ushered into the car by Sayu while Matsuda assured that it was no problem and that he and Sayu had everything under control.

"Mail, seriously, it's alright. There are ours and other children coming as well. Sayu has made delicious food for all of us and I'll keep an eye on all of the kids." Matsuda assured one last time, "I just wish you had been able to join us as well."

"Nah, I think we'll just celebrate another year of staying alive on our own." Matt smiled as Matsuda nodded with a knowing smile and turned to go to his car.

Matt stayed by the door, looking as the car drove away drawing lines into the fresh snow on the ground. He smiled to himself, the kids had been so excited that they forgot to even say bye. Closing the door Matt turned around only to get spooked by Mello standing right behind him.

"Woah, hey there." Matt chuckled nervously.

"Where are they going?" Mello asked his voice bordering near anger. As surprising as it may sound Mello was actually very possessive and he almost had a lioness like protectiveness over his family.

"Matsuda took them out for the ne—"

"Oh." Mello interrupted Matt's embarrassed confession and returned to their bedroom.

Even though it didn't show on Mello's face Matt knew he was feeling upset. Matt wondered if he should've just told Mello everything instead of hiding it. Matt entered the bedroom. Mello was already back under the blanket. Matt shimmied under it too. Just as he settled the first boom rang through the room. It wasn't loud at all but Matt could still feel Mello stiffen next to him. Matt could feel Mello silently trying different breathing techniques to calm himself.

"Mell—"

"I wish I'd been stronger than this." Mello said.

"Mell."

"It's been years now and I still can't help myself. In fact I'm so obvious that not only Near but Matsuda too offered to take the children out. It should've been us. We should've been the ones to take the children out tonight."

Mello's venting came to halt as a series of booms rang through the sky. Mello froze again. The colourful lights illuminating through their window lighted up the scar on Mello's face. Matt could see it twitch. Mello would often whine how it throbbed painfully although Matt was more than sure that it simply twitched due to Mello's PTSD after the accident at his first base making Mello feel like it was still a fresh wound. Of course Matt knew that Mello knew better than that but who could blame a man who'd gone through so much.

Matt looked at Mello who'd closed his eyes to keep away the beautiful view from his sight. Fireworks might look nice to anyone from far but when one's been a part of a huge firework themselves it doesn't look as beautiful anymore.

"Mell." Matt tried again.

"I can't help it." Mello stopped him again, "It's not just this damn scar on my face or the one on my body, I can't help seeing these horrible scenarios of our children. I can't help thinking horrible things about this house, about something happening to you. It feels as if the bomb didn't twist only my face and body but my mind too." His voice cracked.

This was bad. Mello did sometimes act on impulse but most of the time he had lesser emotions than Near did. But this one thing kept haunting him in ways Matt couldn't even comprehend and ever since they'd settled down and brought the children in it had gotten worse. The children wanted to do many fun things but they couldn't do it because just a sudden rise in temperature could throw Mello off of the newfound balance. Mello has been working on it but being a busy man, still solving cases, and a father of five children it was hard to keep his daily self control in check.

Matt had known that this day would come sooner or later. Even though Mello most probably had hoped that he'd somehow keep it to himself for the rest of his life, Matt knew better. In a swift move Matt was straddling Mello's hips trying to pull his shirt off.

"Matt what the hell?" Mello opened his eyes.

"Not a word. You've been self pitying yourself enough now take the shirt off before I rip it apart."

Realizing Matt had gotten some sudden whim that Mello couldn't avoid he did as Matt told him.

"Did it. Now care to explain?"

"Remember when the kids made you sit for the family photo?" Matt asked with a stern voice while carefully caressing the scar on Mello's scar. It always calmed Mello no matter what the situation was.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"You were reluctant because you don't trust your photo not ending up anywhere where it shouldn't."

"That's not why I was reluctant." Mello looked away.

"Mihael." Matt said his voice even more stern now.

"Fine, yeah. It was just as you said. So?"

"But you still let the children have it their way. And after that you've been letting them take photos of you. Why?"

"I," Mello started, but then he stopped. Why had he done it? Now that he thought about it he realized that he'd trusted his oldest child. Their oldest son had been the one to come up with the idea after seeing Matsuda's family photo and wanted one of them too. He'd learnt from Matt how to put the timer on and set up all his younger siblings and Matt in order. Then he'd asked Mello to join them. Mello had refused at first but when their son had gone on and on requesting Mello to take just one photo with them Mello had given in on one condition. He couldn't tell anyone they had a photo with Mello and this was the only photo Mello was ever going to let him take. Surprisingly their son understood and after that photo he never asked Mello for a photo again. Later Mello himself joined some of the photos or selfies Matt and the children took. And the more he realized he could trust the children to keep their mouths shut the more alright he was with the photos. "I trusted them." Mello finally confessed.

"And remember when Matsuda first time took the kids out with his family to the big picnic because we were busy with that case? Why'd you let him do that? You don't even let Roger meet our children."

"Because I trust Matsuda more to leave my kids be the way they are than I trust Roger."

"And remember when you went to Near's base to get that photo? Why'd you just go there on a gut feeling? How could you know that he'd be the only one to have a photo of you?" 

"Because I could trust Near to take care of such things for us." Mello said dreading where this conversation was going to go.

Matt leaned down and whispered into Mello's ear, "And remember when I told you to go take care of that bitch who tried to kill you and let me deal with the cops. Why'd you leave me to deal with them and not stay to check whether I got thing right or not? After all you are very precise with everything that you do."

"Because I trusted you. I know you'd never do anything wrong. We are a team and you'd never do us wrong." Mello whispered back.

"Is that all I am to you, Mello? A part of your team. Someone to trust when you've got a case to crack?"

Mello was startled by the sudden question. It wasn't accusing but it was full of hurt and Matt had called him Mello. Usually the first Mihael was followed by enough for one whole night.

"Of course not. You moron. You mean the world to me. And I would trust you with anything even my life." Mello wrapped his hands around the red head as if to prove his words by pulling the man closer to his heart.

Matt let him do it. "You would trust me with your life but not with your feelings that are essential part of your life?"

"What do you mean?" Mello asked dumbfounded.

Matt wiggled out of Mello's grasp and sat up again. "I know you what you feel ever since your accident." He said caressing the scar on Mello's chest. "I just don't know how you feel and how much it affects you. And I need you to tell me everything Mello. I'm no magician I can look at a game and guess how it was programmed but I can't tell the exact codes. Exactly the same way I can tell a little what's going on in your mind but not exactly. I need you to tell me if you're scared or uncomfortable. I need you to let me stand by your side when you standing alone gets too hard. And so do the children. They too wanted to see the fireworks with us. They know you are the reason we can't do it together but you have to help them understand why not."

"I don't need your pity." Mello snapped.

"Mihael," there it was again, the stern voice, "This isn't about pity. This is about happiness. We can't be happy while you suffer. You know our children are smart. Besides it's not the fireworks they were hyped about it was the hype about the whole day itself that got them hyped. Lighting a few sparklers. Hell, even just some candles would've been enough for them only if you'd explained it to them."

"Why didn't you do it if you care so much." Mello barely muttered, looking away from Matt.

"Because you, Mihael, are a part of this family and you need to stop acting the way you do. I can't do everything for you." ,at said leaning down again and kissing the curve of Mello's neck on the scarred side. "The men don't have feelings is a very bad example for the kids. And even I can't translate all your empty expressions to the kids. I can't tell all your emotions and feelings apart. I can't answer all their questions even if I want to. Besides it's not only about them. I don't give a fuck about new year. Those come all the time and nothing in my life changes. But you do. You've been becoming more and more closed up around me and it's taking a toll on me, babe. I want you to tell me when you're pissed or when you're scared or when you're happy. I want you to love me again."

Mello was surprised by the sudden confession. He'd never thought of it that way. But he understood. Back in the Wammy days he'd always thought he was only the second but it never prevented him from opening up to Matt. He could complaint or confess as much as he wanted because he trusted Matt completely. However, he couldn't do that anymore. He had so many things going on ever since the Kira-case.

"I still love you Mail," Mello tried Matt's trick to use his name to assure him he meant what he said, "I just, I don't want to burden you anymore." He confessed.

Now Matt was the one dumbfounded. He'd often wondered if that's wha was going on in Mello's head but he'd always shake that thought off thinking it was impossible for Mello to feel that way. After all Mello knew he could never a Burden Matt unless he was trying to feed him goddamn chocolate for every meal for one whole week. Matt wasn't sure what to say anymore. We're there any words anyway to convey what he was feeling at that moment. Happy because Mello still cared about him, pissed because Mello was such a fool, content beyond his ability to express because the amount of love he had for Mello was just too much to handle.

"Mihael," he whispered once more before diving in to kiss Mello who gasped Matt's name in surprise. "Mail."

The kiss lead to much more and as the night turned to dawn and the fireworks began to die out Mello and Matt laid on the bed. Mello was getting pissed in the positive way as Matt went on planting raspberry kisses anywhere he possibly could since Mello kept him tightly in his arms to prevent the red head from fooling around. As usual of course Matt won when Mello couldn't keep the laughter in anymore. Soon they fell asleep for only a few hours before their two youngest were crying on top of their lungs.

Matt was the first one to get up. As he quickly slipped into his clothes Mello pulled him back.

"Thanks for everything. I'll try my best from now on." He whispered and planted a quick kiss on Matt's lips.

"Thanks for trusting me." Matt smiled and kissed Mello back before running off to calm the crying kids and call Matsuda to get rest of his little devils back home.

Mello smiled to himself. "Look who's talking. I should be thanking you for standing by my side through all my bullshit." He muttered under his breath.

The following New Year they spent with only sparklers as thanks to Matt's advice Mello was able to explain things properly to their children and even though they didn't understand everything they understood their father's feelings. And from there they slowly kept working year by year to get the best ever New Year's party ever.


End file.
